Osama's Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the land,
The Taliban were hiding, dug deep in the sand.
Their turbans were hung in the open with care,
In hopes B-52's would be fooled with them there.

Bin Laden was nestled all snug in his bed,
While visions of fighter planes danced in his head.
And Al Qaida, regrouping, and ready to go
Had just settled down for a long terror show.

When out in the air there arose such a clatter,
They sprang from their beds to see what was the matter.
Away to the window they flew like a flash,
Tore open the cover and threw up the sash.

The moon on the crest of the new blown sand
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects so bland
When, what to their wondering eyes should appear,
But eight fighter planes, and bombers right there!

Close to the window the Terrorists did push
and knew in a moment it must be George Bush.
More rapid than eagles his pilots they came,
and whistled, and shouted, and with care they took aim

"Now, Bombers! now, Fighters! now, Spy planes and Crew
On, Missiles! On bunker busters! On Daisy Cutters too!
From the top of the caves to under the wall!
Now bombs away! bombs away! bombs away all!"

Quick as a wink did the Taliban all scurry
With bin Laden and Al Qaida, and nothing to worry
They grabbed their Korans, and their turbans put on,
To beat the Great Satan, and celebrate Ramadan!

And then, in a twinkling, they heard on the roof
The yelling and screaming of watch guards aloof.
As planes flew close by, and were turning around,
Down the chimney bunker busters came with a bound.

Each man was blown up, from his head to his foot,
And each one was burned into ashes and soot
A bundle of bombs had been flung on their back,
While AWACS watched over their fearsome attack.

Each pilot saluted the success of his missle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard them exclaim, ere they flew out of sight
"Merry Christmas to all, and to the World, a Good Night!"