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'Twas the Night Before Christmas
(Programmer Style)
Meet the Santa Clause of programmers.
Twas the night before implementation
and all through the house,
not a program was working, not even a
browse.
The programmers hung by their tubes
in despair,
with hopes that a miracle soon would
be there.
The users were nestled all snug in
their beds,
while visions of inquiries danced in
their heads.
When out in the machine room there
arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my desk to see what was
the matter.
And what to wondering eyes should
appear,
but a super programmer (with a
six-pack of beer).
His resume glowed with experience so
rare,
he turned out great code with a
bit-pusher's flair.
More rapid than eagles, his programs
they came,
and he cursed and muttered and called
them by name.
On Update! On Add! On Inquiry! On
Delete!
On Batch Jobs! On Closings! On
Functions Complete!
His eyes were glased over, fingers
nimble and lean,
From weekends and nights in front of
a screen.
A wink of his eye and a twitch of his
head,
soon gave me to know I had nothing to
dread.
He spoke not a word, but went
straight to his work,
turning specs into code; thne turned
with a jerk.
And laying his finger upon the
"ENTER" key,
the system came up and workd
perfectly.
The updated updated; the deletes,
they deleted,
the inquiries inquired, the closings
completed.
He tested each whistle, and tested
each bell,
with nary a bomb, and all had gone
well.
The system was finished, the tests
were concluded,
the users' last changes were even
included.
And the user exclaimed with snarl and
a taunt,
"It's just what I asked for, but not
what I want!"
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