Merry Christmas Saddam

(December 14, 2003)

'Twas the night of the capture, when all through the hole,

Not a creature was stirring, except for one soul;

The operation started with stealth and care,

And American forces soon would be there.

Saddam was snuggled inside his dirt bed,

With visions of recapturing power dancing in his head;

And there in a hole getting ready for a nap,

Living like vermin, Like a dirty sewer rat.

When up above there arose such a clatter,

The deposed dictator rose to see what was the matter.
Our troops had descended in such a great flash,

He grabbed his AK-47 and his $750,000 in cash.

The troops had come before he would know

Shining a flashlight beam on the dictator below,

When, what to his wandering eyes would appear,

But United States troops, and his worst fear.

He looked dirty and tattered like an old bum,

He knew at that moment his judgment day had come.
More rapid than eagles Special Forces they came,

And he threw up his hands, when they called him by name.

"Come out Now! Do not resist!
We urge you to give up, Cease and Desist!
To the top of the hole! With your hands up high!
Surrender peacefully or you will die!"

And then in his pants tinkling, confronting the truth

 The United States forces would soon have their proof.
As he threw up his hands, down below the ground,

A security perimeter was set up around.

He looked unkempt and tired from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were tarnished with mud and soot;

A layer of grime now covered his back,

He looked like a bum who had just smoked crack.

His eyes--filled with tears! His dimples not merry!
His cheeks sunken in, his beard dirty and hairy!
His confident smile was now a great droop,

He was now in our custody in one fell swoop.

He was haggard and slumped, a shell of his old self,

And I laughed when I saw him on the news in spite of myself;

A Medic shining a flashlight into his eyes and twisting his head,

Soon the Iraqi people will know they have nothing to dread.

He was cooperative and spoke words, and will soon confess his evil work,

And we can rejoice in the fact that they captured this jerk, T

o the critics who to this point that have held their nose,

Another terror of mankind has now been deposed.

To those who don't believe, listen to the Iraqi people shout and whistle,

Away his regime goes down like a dud SCUD missile.
Then I heard the Ambassador claim, right there in plain sight,

"American troops captured Saddam Hussein last night!"

Merry Christmas all!